Current Happenings

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

End to the Weekly Weigh-In + Some

It's not that I plan on forsaking the scale, but I am tired of what I put myself through. I am too hard on myself if the scale doesn't move enough in a week, and that makes me unhappy. When I'm unhappy, I don't lose weight very well. So, I am going to continue with my almost-daily weigh-in each morning, but I won't be blogging each week about what the scale says. I'm going to use my scale as a means to keep track of what is going on with my body, not something to compete against.

I do still care what the scale has to say, mainly because it reminds me about drinking water. It reminds me that I will retain weight for a couple days after a real tough workout. It reminds me that 2 cups of mashed potatoes is not a serving, and looks bad on my hips. I'd like for that to be the extent of it. I'm tired of racing myself and feeling like the number has to go down every week, or else I've let myself down. Goodness, I've been overweight for so long now, an extra few months of working off the weight isn't going to hurt anything. If I take it slower, then I take it slower.

I want to lose weight in a fierce way. I want to be more slender and feel more fit. I want to get to a point where I don't flip out if my husband tries to pick me up, or wants me to sit on his lap. I don't aspire to be perfect or non-lumpy. It would be nice to have an easier time finding pretty clothes, and even nicer to wear prettier things under my pretty clothes. I'm not waiting until I get thinner to work on some of these things though.

I had to go shopping for a dress this week, something to wear to my dad's wedding. Shopping can be such a stressful thing for a gal who has breasts and hips as full as mine. I have a waist, but my curvier parts seem to dominate. That makes it hard to find clothes that hang right, and don't leave my girls spilling out. Instead of being disappointed by clothing this week, I decided that I was going to enjoy myself.

There is no getting past the fact that I am overweight. I have plenty of "survival layer" fat on me, which I've been tempted to use as insulation during the winter. ( I bet that I'd lose weight fast, if I could stand the whole freezing part. lol) There is no way that I'm going to convince anyone, myself included, that I am not overly fat by choosing some miracle outfit. So, why not be happy with a dress that looks pretty, just because it looks pretty? :) I'm not expecting my clothes to make me beautiful, but maybe I'll look more beautiful because I'm no longer trying to hide my bumps... and effectively hiding me.

I bought a dress that has a wide belt to draw attention to the fact that I DO have a waist. The skirt is flattering to my hips, and is long enough that I feel comfortable. My thighs aren't all that attractive just yet, but my lower legs are looking pretty sleek. So, a knee-length dress is just what the doctor ordered. It is a strapless dress, which was the only dress that really seemed to fit comfortably. Since I don't really want to be without good support, I am still wearing my bra. I just bought a light bolero-style sweater for coverage. Hopefully that will help camouflage my bosom a bit, also.

I am pretty. It doesn't matter if I have extra squish to my body. I'm still me. :)