Current Happenings

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Week 1 Weigh-In

Weight Change: -6 lbs.

I know that a lot of that weight is probably water, but I am happy about it anyway. I am just happy to be nearly at my first goal weight, which is - not a liar. Isn’t that a funny weight? *laughs* In two more pounds, I will be the weight that I told my doctor I am. That will feel really great!

Let me see, that puts me with ….. 33 lbs. until I reach my main weight goal. This feels weird to say, but I hope that the weight comes off quickly, not so that I can be thinner, but so I can start learning how to maintain a steady weight. I’m not sure that I’ve ever done that as an adult. It seems that I’ve either been working to lose weight, or gaining weight. I’d like to get to a point where I have lost enough weight that I feel content at sitting there for a while and getting a handle on how to eat during maintenance.

Now, this main goal isn’t skinny or anything. Quite frankly, it is just getting me back to where I was before I became pregnant with Ezzie, and then went nutty when he died. It was hard to concentrate on watching what I ate when everyone around me began getting pregnant and having babies. The more I hurt, the less will I had to take care of myself. I knew that I was hurting me, but I wasn’t ready to deal with it. I’m glad that I’m there now. Goodness, I have been able to hold my sister’s new little baby for hours, and not feel bad about it at all. I don’t hurt, and I don’t long. I just kind of - am.

Anyway, once I get some of this spare tire off of my middle, I will be content to just hang out and learn how to maintain for a while. Ideally, I would love to reach that point by September. Then I would like to just maintain my weight until … probably February or so. That would be 5 months of learning what I can eat, and how much. Then I believe I would be prepared to work towards knocking off about 20 pounds. From there, I could probably be content to linger at that weight indefinitely. I’m not sure that it means enough to me to try and get down to my high school weight/shape. If it does become more important to me, I can work on losing again after a few months of maintaining my weight again.

Main Goal Time: 13 weeks (ish)
Needed Loss: 2.5 lbs. per week to meet goal in time

Since I have a decent amount of weight to lose, I don’t think it will be too hard to lose 2.5 lbs. per week. I’ve been here before, and I know that my body really wants to be at a lighter weight. If I am predictable at all, I will begin to slow down near that secondary goal of 20 lbs. to lose. For me, losing the weight has never really been the battle. Not gaining it back- that is where I have the most to learn and fight for.