Current Happenings

Friday, October 17, 2008


I have now lost 38 lbs.! Yay!

When I lose one more pound, I will reach my first weight-loss goal. It probably sounds like a strange number for a goal, but that puts me at where I was when I got pregnant with Ezzie. I had been so excited by having lost weight, and then I found out that we were expecting a baby. I was happy to put off losing weight until after Ezra was born, but I didn't have the heart for it when he was stillborn.

It seems like so long ago, and yet just yesterday. I know that some people would probably be appalled that it took me nearly 2 years before I felt well enough to concentrate on making myself well. But, there isn't much that I can say beyond sharing that wounds to the spirit take much longer to heal than those within the body. I was so crushed by what happened, there was just no fight left in me for anything. I felt awful for what I wasn't able to give to my family, my daughter in particular, while I grieved the loss of our youngest son and the loss of any hope that we might have more children.

I already feel refreshed, even with that one pound still on my body. There is something so cleansing in knowing that I'm not wearing my sadness on my body anymore. It feels nice to know that soon I'm not going to be working off the same weight again, that I had just put back on. There is something very draining about feeling like a yo-yo, regardless of the 'why'.

In celebration, I put on a new dress today. It's not a *new* dress, but new to me. I haven't been able to wear it before. Everyone giggles because it looks just like my favorite dress, only much smaller. I don't actually know what size my comfy dress is, but this new one says that it is a size 10. I look forward to it gradually growing looser and looser as I get closer to my "happy weight".

I really am happy that I will reach this weight-loss goal before my wedding anniversary. I may just go to Dots and see if they have any pretty dresses in my size, so I can have something nice to wear when we go out. My sister said that she would go with me, since I admit to having difficulties in picking out flattering clothes that coordinate well together.