Maybe I'm not quite so much grumpy as just, slightly overbearing and donkey-ish. *chuckles* Thankfully, my husband is a patient and loving man, and forgives me when I act stupid because of raging hormones. I didn't weigh in this week because I have received my special December gift, and blessedly in advance of Christmas.
With the way that I've been feeling the past few days, I'll be surprised if I don't post a whopping gain by next Tuesday. Paul says it best:
I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:18-20
I know that it's not good for me to eat a bunch of junk. It hurts my body, and I hate feeling controlled by the desire to do what I know is wrong. I need to pray about it more. That needs to be my first thought, not my last one. Goodness, I should have been praying instead of eating... wait for it... burnt cookies. Yeah. I wasted calories on bad cookies. Burnt cookies. Still, I ate them anyway, even though they didn't taste or feel good. It was grossly stupid.
Still, I'm not completely lost because I ate nasty cookies for a day. I know that this is a daily battle, a battle at eat meal, not just for a short time. This sort of thing will be with me for the rest of my life, so I had better dig in and get used to fighting this war. One day I will wake up and make good decisions with ease, and I'll consider myself a victor. Until then, I'm still in the trenches, battling this area of weakness. Right now, I just want to get through this week without eating everything in the house.
It's not all doom and gloom, of course. My life is really quite happy, and I'm only grumpy about burnt cookies lately. I'm even happy about my great opportunity for exercise today! I pulled out the snow shovel and hefted snow for 30 minutes today. I shoveled all of our sidewalks and walkways, and then did the neighbors' also. I've done a total of three houses, and a little bit of a neighbor's walkway, helping out his buddy who was already clearing it. I may need a little bit of Motrin, since I'm not used to the motion of shoveling yet (Oh, I'm sure I will be by the end of winter). My Fitday says that that is over 200 calories burned, and that makes me feel better about eating two servings of Cheerios this morning with my skim milk. I was just looking in the bowl and thinking, 30 grams of Cheerios just isn't a meal. I knew that I would be out and running around, and I didn't have time to cook. Now I feel much better, thinking about having shoveled off nearly all of my Cheerios. *laughs*
I am thinking about buying a step to exercise with. They are small compared to many other exercise devices, and I can put it right in front of the tv. That sounds a mite lazy, but I need to distract myself from the fatigue that comes with vigorous exercise. Ok, and the arthritis hurts, but I need to keep that knee strong. I wished that I had had one last night while watching the finale for "The Biggest Loser". Watching that show makes me want to exercise! That's not as easy now, not since DH put my bike in the basement for Christmas. Anything not suitable for guests to sit on was removed. I guess guests could sit on my bike, but it would seem a little goofy.
I'm sure that I won't be without exercise, regardless of where my bike is. We have another snow storm coming in this week. So, I'll have more snow to shovel. I may start walking up and down our basement steps, also.