Man, I could really use a gym buddy. I tell ya, sometimes I just want to grab one of those men that I see walking around the gym, and asking them if I could tag along and have a go at it. (I go to a "manly gym". Most girls stick to the treadmill for some reason.) It gets pretty old feeling like I'm alone in this. Of course, that's why I go to the gym in the first place. I like the people.
See that picture on my sidebar? I don't know about you, but I think that that lady has a beautiful body. I don't think that she is so muscular to no longer look feminine. I bet that when she isn't on the stage, and is wearing regular clothes, she's probably fits her clothes in a very attractive manner. I showed the picture to Sis, and told her that that was what I was working toward, something like that. When am I going to learn?? Her reply was to say, "I hope your joking."
I love my sister very much, and it is fun to be with her usually. I'm thinking that her lack of support may have been the death knell for any 'gym buddy' relationship that we may have gotten back into. I know what she wants for herself, and while it's not what I would choose, I'm all for helping her in being active enough to achieve it. I'd like to be able to make up my mind about some things without being put in a position of defending my desires, as though there is something wrong with them.
I am not a small girl. It doesn't matter how much I modify my diet, I am not going to be a fragile flower of a woman. More than that though, I've come to realize that what I want for my outside is a reflection of what is on my inside. I am less the lamb, and more the lioness. To be blunt, driving myself hard does some incredible things to my body chemistry, and it's addictive. I need something to chase, some kind of goal to pursue. It's not enough to mindlessly go through the motions in order to be "not fat". I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone but me. Sis certainly doesn't understand my desire to be anything other than "skinny".
I don't think that Sis is trying to be less than supportive. Maybe it is just in her nature. *laughs* I don't know. She wants to go to the gym with me because she wants to be pushed, but then she makes backwards comments about my own fitness because she can't keep up. I just want to laugh and tell her that she had better work harder if it means so much to her vanity that she be the skinniest of us girls. I know that it sounds catty, but it's just the irony of it all. She can probably outrun me any day, and I'm fine with that. I would expect that she has some areas where she is better able than I am. That doesn't make me any kind of failure. I wish that she would learn that, and stop flagellating me with her own insecurities.
Personally, I would love to have a gym buddy who was a little more fit than I am. I like to have someone push me that extra inch when I don't think I can give it. That's what I loved about being in the weightlifting class in highschool. There were only a couple of other girls, the rest were guys. They didn't treat me like a weak little girl, but got in my face and urged me to do a little more than I thought I could. It was wonderful. I'll do it all on my own if I have to, but I'd love to have someone to workout with who has that same fire in their belly.