Hmm... well, I'm counting my calories today. It's not that I've been doing a "bad" job, but that I'm still too new at this and more than a little worried about gaining weight. It's a strange thing to say, that I don't know how to maintain a weight. I can count calories with ease, because I always have that running total in my head. Personally, I think that it's a terrible way to live. I don't want to spend my every waking moment thinking about my meals and snacks, because that doesn't offer any more freedom than being heavier did.
Anyway, my eating has been alright, but my water intake has been horrific. I was a little higher on the scale this morning, which didn't surprise me at all. I ate some delicious bean soup for dinner yesterday, but I know that it had plenty of salt in it. There were other foods that I knew were higher in sodium, and I still didn't think to try and pare that back and drink more water. So, I am working much harder today to properly hydrate myself. I am drinking smaller amounts of water, but I am drinking more frequently. Plus, every time that I use the bathroom, I come back to the kitchen and drink another cup of water. So, I am hoping that my couple of days of "uncounted" meals won't look quite so bad on the scale after I rehydrate. I really do need to make a better effort at cutting back on the salt though.
I've been exercising, but I haven't been as diligent about writing down what I've been doing. It felt really weird to look at my little calendar and see the lack of exercise days marked on it. I've been very active lately, so I've decreased some of my exercise a little bit so that I'm not completely exhausting myself. There is a lot of work to do, trying to make the house run smoothly right now. So, I'm counting my hauling of books and heavy cleaning as exercise. I have been using the glider, biking, and lifting weights still. I'm just shooting more for 20-30 minutes of structured exercise instead of an hour. Once I get everything organized and cleaned, I'll be able to work a little harder at more formal exercise. Oh, but then there will be nicer weather- and I'm hoping to replace some gym time with outdoor activities.
For as much as I enjoy the gym, I'd like to make those type of activities more of a 3-day/week routine. Right now, I am leaning more toward getting structured exercise in nearly every day. But, during the nice weather, I want to do more. I want to ride bikes on the trails at one of the MetroParks. I want to go swimming more often, and maybe canoe through the streams and creeks that branch off from the river. I want to take my old dog for more walks and do more gardening. I just don't want to spend that time in the gym, wasting the sunshine.
I am figuring that because the weather is just beginning to change, now is a good time for me to learn how to eat like a "normal" person. I think that I am still going to log my food, but that maybe it will be sufficient enough to just have a little paper journal to write things down in. That wouldn't be counting calories, but I have so many of those numbers lodged in my brain that I may never be free of them. I just need somewhere to write things down so I don't go stupid and eat a box of cookies while claiming ignorance. I guess a paper journal would make it easier to go out and be more active, because I won't feel the need to be attached to my computer every day, just to log my food. Wow. I could go camping. *laughs* I wouldn't even need WIFI in order to calculate my breakfast. Wonder of all wonders, I could just go hiking and have fun burning off the calories instead of stressing out over the numbers.
This isn't going to be easy though. I have a bit of an obsessive issue with all of this. Like I said, I'm usually 100% "on", or I'm way off. I've spent the last 9 months going through these life changes, and wittling the extra weight off of me. I've been crawling and depending on a lot of outside things to make this journey for me, but I think that now it is time to learn how to really walk on my own. I'm sure that I will stumble and fall down a few times. I may need a couple of stitches before this is all said and done. However, I think that this is a very important part of maturing into new, sustainable habits.
I'm still not giving in to cake, cookies, and all things scary to the size of my bottom. I still have my head attached to my shoulders. I'm not saying any of this because there is a candy bar staring at me, and I want an excuse to eat it. (... not that there is a candy bar.... ) I will still eat healthy foods every day. I will still watch my portions. I will still exercise. On some days, I will still probably count calories, just to be sure that I don't allow time and laziness to distort my view of things- and my pants size. It is very difficult to do, but I need to stop holding onto my "tools" so much. Otherwise, I'm afraid that I'll have to live in this "diet land" forever.