Current Happenings

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Oh, Come ON Girl !!

I've been more than a little frustrated lately. Oh, this darned foot. I try to take it easy on my foot, but it doesn't seem to matter. I'm walking funny, which makes my knee hurt. My knee makes my hamstrings hurt.... which messes my back up. Of course, there isn't much that I can do about all of that. I can ice my foot and stretch it out, and I can massage my tight hamstrings. None of that frustrates me nearly as much as my mental mumbo-jumbo that I've got going on.

I don't know why, but I am finding myself eating crap. I'm doing pretty well during the day, and then I get completely stupid at night. Some of it is just that there have been foods brought into the house that are huge triggers for me. My housemates brought home $12 worth of chocolate-filled cookies. When I'm feeling weak of will and hungry, my husband pulls into the drive-thru at Tim Horton to buy donuts. *sigh* Of course, none of their choices make me fatter. My choice to put those things into my mouth- those things make me fatter.

I really can't eat cookies. Chocolate chip cookies turn me into an insane creature of gluttony. Sugar makes me crazy anyway, but there is something about the combination of crispy, gooey, and chocolate that makes me a complete nut. I will eat too many cookies, and that is a given. I just can't have them in the house, but it's kind of hard to tell other adults that. My husband thinks that I should just ask my sister to store those things in the basement if they want to have them. I'm alright if I don't know that they are there. I won't buy them myself. I also know that my husband will easily switch back to eating donuts on the sly, instead of bringing them home. It makes me kind of sad that anyone else would have to change their behaviors, just because I am struggling with the hand-to-mouth motion.

This week hasn't been real bad, and that's probably because it's only Tuesday. *laughs* My weight is holding steady, which I am very happy to know. I'm not completely blowing it. I put on a couple pounds, and then stopped. I don't know if that is because I am trying hard to be diligent with good eating during the day or not. Maybe. It's just about 3 hours at night that are rough for me. If I can just find a way to improve my behavior during that time, I should start losing again. I also need to start drinking water again. I have been terribly bad about getting my water in lately, and I'm sure that that has contributed quite a bit to my difficulties.

This afternoon, I'm sitting down to make out a menu plan for myself, and a grocery list. One of my problems is that I am running real low on my healthier food items. This is going to be a challenge for me, so I'm going to run with it and make it a real challenge. *laughs* I am challenging myself to something simple- just one week of clean eating.


The Incredible Shrinking Family said...

This may sound completely off the wall, but could the real toot of your pain be a belief that you have to watch your step at the current time for any one of numerous reasons ? As if something is forcing you to watch what you are doing or to do something that you really do not wish to but for very good reasons you must ? Sometimes simply becoming aware of whatever this is will allow your body to let go of the pain and heal. Silly as it sounds, we are all still basically little kids inside that really want to be heard, and if the message is not coming through we become real geniuses at finding ways to make ourselves listen. Just ponder the possibilities and see if something rings true with this for you- it might make a world of difference.

Squishy ! said...

I really did just hurt my foot. I'm kind of a weenie when it comes to dealing with pain, and my own feelings of frustration when I can't do what I want. It's not very "grown up" of me, but at least I can acknowledge that that is how I am.

Brooke said...

I just recovered from a foot injury and it was excrutiating! I wanted to crawl in a hole - or eat whatever. It was so hard - the pain I experienced wasn't as hard as the way it messed with my head. I had lost 65 pounds and then got injured. I was scared to death that I wouldn't be able to run anymore and I didn't want to gain the weight back - yet I was making bad choices in my eating because of the stress of it all. I think I'm still struggling now - but I'm really trying to get back in control. I'm so stinking tired of fighting this day in and day out. I want to just run away screaming. But I know that I can conquer this fight - I just have to keep moving forward. Good luck to you. It's not easy - but you've got a team of supporters on your side that have the same battles to face. You can do it!!