Current Happenings

Sunday, May 31, 2009


I know that I've been real quiet of late, but I am vacationing in Tennessee! This has been my first opportunity to really sit down and tap out anything on the computer.

We made the trip in just over 10 hours, and have spent the past couple of days enjoying the good company of our family. Papa and Grandma took us out to the pizza buffet after we got in, and I am happy to say that I ate a very modest portion. I had a little help, since I have a head cold right now, and it just saps any real desire to eat right out of me.

Yesterday, we drove into Athens and walked around the "Moofest" street fair. It was pretty much just like the street fairs that we have at home, except that they had a couple of cows there. *laughs*

Today is supposed to be even warmer than yesterday, so hopefully the pool water won't be so cold. It was fine for my daughter, because she's got her enthusiasm to keep her warm. I gave up on freezing myself, and I just worked on getting a little bit of a tan. I'm going to put my shoes on and go walk some laps along the little lane at the end of the drive. It's beautiful, and the trees stretch over the road and shade it from the hot sun. I can't do any more than walk, since I'm still trying hard just to breathe. It will feel good to do something though.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Happy Anniversay To Me

Well, today marks one year that I have been living this healthier lifestyle! Yay! I managed to lose 54.5 lbs. for the year, and I'm very happy about that.

I had wanted to do something special today, to mark the occasion, but I have some obligations to meet at the house. It makes me sad that I can't do what I had wanted, but there is no changing how things are right now.

Anyway, I'm going to celebrate with a little "30 Day Shred". *laughs* I haven't been able to do as much exercise of late, so I know that it's really going to kick my butt. However, it will feel so good!

After upping my water intake yesterday, I got a big whoosh on the scale this morning. I'm weighing in at 193.5 now that I'm hydrated. I want to work really hard for the next few days, to see if I can drive that number into the 180's before I leave for vacation. If I can manage my food reasonably well, I shouldn't come home any heavier than usual. My grandparents have a pool, and we have lots of fun swimming in there. We also have many fun activities planned that will keep my mind occupied, since I tend to eat more when I'm bored.

I'll get back to my regular scheduled programming now though. *laughs* For breakfast, I had the same thing as yesterday- oatmeal, an extra-small banana, and 3 cups of water. Once breakfast is settled, I'm putting on Jillian, so she can kick my behind.

Ok, I was right. Shred kicked my butt. It's amazing, how quickly a body loses it's stamina and strength when not being pushed! I was back to Level 1, since I've been a slug. The first few minutes were the hardest. After that though, I seemed to do pretty well. The only exercise that I abhor are the bicycle crunches. That is just too hard on my back. I can do all of the individual crunches, but the bicycle crunches just hurt.

Lunch today is my turkey sandwich w/ mustard and lettuce on pumpernickel. I also have a side of broccoli, and a diet Cream Soda that I'll sip on during the day.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

This is me, Mumbling and Cursing

I'm weighing in today. The scale whomped me upside my head this morning with a big ole 196 lbs of flubber.

I've been so out of sorts, and it's not really better yet. Hopefully, now that my sister is back home, I can start getting back into a better routine. This has just been an icky week for me.

I'm going to be taking pictures of my food today, and putting back a lot of water today. My water intake has been pretty much non-existent of late. I know how bad that is, so it's crazy that I haven't done something about it before now.

For breakfast, I am having my wonderful oatmeal that I love so much. It is 20 g. oats, 2 oz. Almond Breeze, 8 g. raisins, and 8 g. almonds. In addition to that, I'm nearly done with my cup that holds 3 c. of water, and I've also got an extra-small banana.

I just have to share a picture with you. While I eat my meals, I now get to listen to the incredibly cute little meows of baby kittens! Zoe just birthed them yesterday afternoon, and they live in a box under our dining table. There are 6 little babies. We only really "know" two of them though, because it is still too hard to tell them apart, since they have markings that are very similar to one another.

While we were doing homework, I grabbed another blue cup full of water.

For lunch, I have a wonderful turkey sandwich with mustard and lettuce, on pumpernickel bread. I traded in my store bakery bread for the commercially baked bread that was much more in line with what I needed. The bakery bread was 180 calories for one slice, so I had to take that slice and cut it in two in order to have a sandwich. The commercially baked bread is 120 for two full sized slices. It makes my mouth happy. Anyway, with my sandwich, I also have 6 0z. (raw) asparagus that I roasted with a couple sprays of fake butter stuff, salt, pepper, and garlic powder. That was very yummy, and I even convinced my 3 year old nephew to try it by comparing one to Jr. Asparagus from Veggie Tales. He liked it! To wash it all down, I have a cup of coffee and another blue cup that holds 3 cups of water.

I needed a snack this afternoon, something with a little crunch. I opted for some Wheat Thins, and also a banana to help me feel fuller.
Now that I'm starting to put dinner together, I'm noticing that I'm getting uncomfortable. So, I grabbed a leftover diet Cream Soda. There was about half a bottle left, and I'm sipping on that to help take the edge off of things until dinner is ready.

For dinner, I made 4 oz. baked chicken w/30 g. light ranch, 4 oz. Zatarains rice, 2 oz. corn, and 8 oz. (raw) roasted asparagus. That was a lot of food! I kind of needed that though, after having such a lean afternoon. Since we eat dinner earlier than most people, it all works out.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Pretty Good

I'm doing pretty good today. My eating has still been a bit haphazard. Some decisions are real good, and then I tend to goof things up a little bit. All in all though, I haven't been doing too bad. I'm going to weigh in tomorrow, since I started taking my weight on Tuesdays, and there is no reason to stop just because the BLBE2 challenge is over.

I know that right now, I am hanging at 194.5 , which is pretty normal for me. I seem to fluctuate between 191.5-195. Since I have been struggling to find my motivation lately, I'm certainly not upset to at least be maintaining in the same spot. I want to push on and get further down on the weight scale, but it doesn't mean enough to me at this particular time. I've just got such big things on my plate, and losing weight is more of a background thought. Instead, I'm just trying to not eat a bunch of junk, and still be active.

I'm pretty sure that we all know that losing weight is more about where one's mind is, more than numbers. I am an emotional creature, and that is where I struggle with weight. I hit a bit road-block last week when reading my sister's "goodbye" letter that she left behind for me. In the letter, she said that she was proud of me for losing weight. That was basically the only thing that she said, other than that she thought I would be ok, and that she trusted me to raise her son. It hit me with tremendous force, like a sledgehammer to the chest- I don't like that of all the things anyone could say about me, that my weight loss would find itself in a suicide letter. I know that she didn't mean it this way, but I can't help but feel that all that I am and what I do was reduced to something as meaningless as the size of my jeans. If anyone is going to be proud of me, I desire with all of my heart that it would be for the ways that I try more and more to surrender myself to the Holy Spirit, to be more like Christ. I would want people to think of me, and to see Jesus, to know that my heart is so full of love and that my actions reflect that. It all just leaves me wondering if anyone really sees me, or whether my life just automatically becomes reduced to number counting, workouts, clothing sizes, etc. This weight loss journey has only ever really been for my benefit, the one selfish thing that I indulge in. I've never wanted it to define how other people think of me, particularly not my own sister- who should know me much better than most people.

All of that said, I am going out for lunch. It is time to pick my sister up, and I am going to take her to our local hole-in-the-wall so she can have something to eat that isn't hospital fare. I'm going to just have a breakfast plate of eggs and toast, and maybe some steamed potato. It's nothing fancy, but I want to do *something*. I still don't know how life is going to be with her back at home, and I'm more than a little nervous.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Attack of the Food

Ugh, my food choices have been bad. I've just been eating whatever has been in front of me. I've just been in a kind of bad place, mentally, and it's been crappy for making good decisions.

I think that I existed on pretzels yesterday, until my husband brought pizza home for dinner. I was so busy, clearing out my computer room and hauling my sister's bed up the stairs and into that room. Instead of eating, I just grabbed pretzels a few at a time and kept on moving. That has been the standard for the past couple of days. I've been working my butt off, trying to get things in order at the house while taking care of the kids.

Now that I am getting used to what needs to be done to keep my nephew from flushing toys down the toilet or squirting shampoo down the laundry chute, I think that I'm ready to get a grip and get back to business. I'm a little afraid to step on the scale, but I'm not going to shy away from it. I'll take my knock, and then I'll do what needs to be done- healthy eating and exercise.

I don't know what I've managed to do to myself, but my chest still hurts. It is the craziest thing. I almost wonder if I didn't pull something, just by the tension in my body, and how hard I was clenching down on myself to try and control the shaking. I think that until I start to feel like I'm at 100%, I'll just stick to some moderate exercise videos, like my 'Walk Away The Pounds" tapes. The big thing is going to be squaring my shoulders and clamping down on my diet.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Trying to Do This Thing

I don't have a picture, but I had a medium sized bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch this morning. It was probably 1.5 servings, and I used 2% milk for it- maybe 3/4 of a cup. I'm drinking a cup of coffee right now, still nursing the one that I poured when my dad showed up this morning. He took Pumpkin with him when he went off to Hallmark. Today, ironically enough, is my sister's 26th birthday. He's going to take a card up to the hospital for her. I have gifts and a card for her, but I'm still trying to determine whether I'm going to go and visit her or not. I'm sure that they won't let her have gifts up there, but there isn't any threat in a card.

Lunch is a bowl of leftover chicken soup that I had made a couple days ago. I think that it might be light enough that I won't feel too sick. I'm also nibbling on a serving of pretzels, since they seem to calm my stomach a bit. That puts me at about 603 calories for breakfast and lunch.

No Foods For You

I'm not going to be posting food stuff today (it's after midnight, I can say that). My little sister tried to end her life by swallowing a bunch of pills this evening. I'm a headcase right now. For the first time that I can ever remember, I'm having chest pains. I'm sure that it is some kind of anxiety attack. I'm alternating between flipping out and struggling not to put my fists through the wall, and just sitting in one spot feeling rather empty and still.

I'll be spending the daytime hours running around after the kids. I'm not used to chasing after both of them by myself. It shouldn't be difficult, but this boy child has a rare talent for getting into trouble. He's the only kid that I know who could cut his hair with stolen scissors, burn a house down, and squirt toothpaste down the laundry chute all in a nanosecond.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Happy Tuesday to You.

For breakfast, I just went with the good 'ole oatmeal. I've got 20 g. oats, 8 g. almonds, 8 g. raisins, and a small banana. I usually add Almond Breeze, but I forgot it. I had cobwebs in my head, I think. Breakfast is 234 calories.

To help me get through my munchies after breakfast, I had a cup of coffee. It always helps to quiet my hunger monster.

For lunch, I had a turkey sandwich on pumpernickel bread. There was also a side of Fiesta-style veggies. I sure do love my diet Cream Soda. I nursed this one all day.

Dinner was simple. I had 3 oz. of chicken breast, a biscuit, 1/2 c. mashed potatoes, and 3 oz. of mixed veggies. After I took this picture, I shredded my chicken and added 1/4 c. of light gravy for an extra 20 calories. For dessert.... I had another biscuit, with a tablespoon of honey on it.

For my final meal of the night, I am having 8 oz. of mushrooms. I roasted them with a few sprays of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" spray, garlic powder, onion powder, and pepper. For something light and cleansing, I am having 10 oz. of watermelon. I need to hurry and eat it before it completely turns to mush. lol

I stayed around the house this afternoon and did some chores, and worked on the blanket that I'm crocheting. Since I wasn't all that active earlier, I hit the walking track at the park for a walk/jog. I got a good sweat on during my 4 mile workout. I'm hoping that if I keep working at it, I can start knocking minutes off of my 5k time. I'm not any kind of serious runner, but I do have some little bit of pride- and it can't stand the slowness of my run. *laughs* If I can get my 5k time down to 35 minutes, I will be marvelously happy.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Man-Handling the Chaos (It's Monday Again!)

Life has been rather interesting for a few days now. There has been some painful drama at the house, and it is starting to wear a hole in me. My sister is sad and doesn't want to do anything, and it just eats at me all day. I realized that this is all going to be harder than I though, when I woke up this morning and just did not want to get out of bed and see anyone. I don't do stress well.

Intent on not sinking into the Nothing, I jumped out of bed and threw some exercise clothes on, and grabbed my gym shoes. I snagged workout pants with a drawstring waist this time, having learned my lesson last week- when my pants fell right off my butt. It's a good thing that I was wearing a long top! I didn't want a repeat of that em-bare-ass-ment. *chuckles* I grabbed my MP3 player and took off for a jog. I completed a 5k this morning, on an empty stomach, just to work through my feelings. Then I came home and started sucking down water, trying all that time not to throw up. I've learned my lesson. I'll eat something first, next time.

For breakfast, I had a small banana after bolting some water. Then, I settled for a packet of instant oatmeal, strawberries & cream. (222 calories) I don't really have time for anything else. I've got chores up to my eyeballs, and little help. So, I'm going to just get started, and then enjoy more substantial foods later. I have some beans and chicken in the pressure cooker. I'm going to make a soup with that little bit of chicken, the Great Northern beans, carrots, and corn. I'll pop biscuits in the oven, and that will be dinner. In the meantime though, I need to go and mow the grass.

* * *

Ok, I'm back for lunch. Um. It sucks. I'm up to my eyeballs in work, and I'm just pissed off. I don't say that much, but I am. I got the grass cut, but the pull string on the mower slipped out of my hand and somehow whipped back and clipped me across the face. That stung so bad I had to check for blood. It just poked some already tender and angry feelings that I'm having today. Then, the neighbor across the street walked over to move the kids' toys out from behind my next-door neighbor's vehicle. That was darned embarassing, made more so because I can't believe that they were left like that in the first place. Gwar. It's not fair for me to be so angry today, but I am. I feel helpless and hectic, not knowing what is alright to say and what is going to make people upset, and all of that just ties me in knots and makes me pissed off. I hate feeling like my hands are tied. I guess my Irish temper is showing a bit today. I'm having a Callahan Day. lol

Anyway, like I said- lunch sucks. I can't find much to eat right now. I have 10 oz. of watermelon and a yogurt cup with 8 oz. of almonds thrown in. I was trying to find some way to get a little fat and protein in, because I acknowledge that my food choices are not so great right now. Yup, that would be a whole 217 calories for lunch. Not good. I need to get off of here though and finish eating so I can get this load of laundry put away before the other is finished drying, and the dishes are still calling for attention.
During the afternoon, I stopped working around the house to have a small snack of pretzels between loads of laundry.

For dinner, we had some simple soup that I made from the little bit of chicken that I had in the freezer, some Great Northern beans, creamed corn, and a wee bit of mashed potato flakes. All in all, it was a very yummy soup, and it got us all fed. I also baked some biscuits that I bought for 50% off during my last grocery trip. Sorry, I forgot to take the picture until I was nearly done eating. *chuckles*

I'm sipping on the leftovers from a bottle of my diet Cream Soda.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

For breakfast this morning, I am having my oatmeal and a yogurt cup (236 calories). I'll have a bigger lunch, to try and even things out a bit, but that won't be for a while. I've got to call my mom and talk with her, and then go birthday shopping for my little sister's birthday this week.

Now that I'm back from shopping, I made a pretty substantial lunch from what I had sitting around. There is a leftover biscuit, 2 eggs over-medium, and 10 oz. of watermelon for 430 calories.
I really needed that. I was out too long, and it's almost 3 p.m. already. I was starting to feel a little crazy while we were out. I am running real low on food staples, so I will just have to poke through the pantry later and see what there is to have for dinner. We had Chinese takeout for dinner last night, and there are tons of leftovers for everyone else to eat. I was very careful with the takeout, but there is no denying that no matter how careful I am- that stuff is not a good source of nutrition. I can't even think about how much MSG was probably in the little amount of sauce that I was dipping my fork in, to eat with my chicken.

I lost track of my photo-taking this evening! D'oh. I did keep track of my food though.

-4.16 oz. raw carrots w/ 30 g. light ranch
-1 oz. pretzels
-2 c. coffee
-10 pieces of chicken w/.25 c. sauce , 1 c. rice
-2 pieces Dove chocolate

Here is my summary for the evening. My pie chart looks pretty unbalanced, but it's not an awful number of calories. That is more of a maintenance level for me, but I'm not bothered by that. Tomorrow will be a lower day, and I'm going to pound the pavement for a while with a good run. Whatever I end up doing, the big task of the day will be going grocery shopping. Pickings are getting awfully tight right now, and that makes it much harder to eat well.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Increase for Friday

My weight hasn't increased, just my calorie budget for the day. I am still at 191.5 today, which is no surprise. I was running yesterday, and exercise tends to do that for me. There are also some other factors to consider, but they fall in the realm of "too much information". *chuckles*

I started my day in my usual way, with a cup of coffee. I needed a few minutes to just wake up and figure out what my game plan is for today. For the past week, I've stuck pretty close to 1,200 calories per day. That is on the very bottom of my range, so I figured that I should give myself a couple of days a little higher up on the scale. Today, I'm shooting for about 1,500 calories. Only 20 of them came from my cup of coffee though.

Since I had bigger numbers to work with this morning, I splurged a little. I had a bowl of Active Lifestyle flakes with strawberries and 3 oz. Almond Breeze. Um, it's basically the store brand "Special K" with strawberries. I also had 4 oz. of cantaloupe (which I can finally spell on my own. lol), and a Yoplait pineapple yogurt cup. That was only 308 calories for breakfast, but it was very yummy.
Sometime in the afternoon ( I didn't think to look at all), I wanted something to sip on. I grabbed a diet Cream Soda. I only drank a little bit off of it and put it in the fridge. I'll just nurse it over the day, I think. (It's a good thing that I like flat soda.) Yes, I was sewing at the time.

For lunch, I made a turkey breast sandwich on Aunt Millie's light bread, with lettuce and mustard. There was also a side of Mexican Fiesta-style veggies. This lunch was only 198 calories, but that is alright, since I eat so often. I can make up the difference somewhere else.

No one knew what they wanted to eat for dinner, and I had to hurry out for my appointment with the chiropractor. We just grabbed some tacos over at Taco Bell. I am ever the good girl though, and I got a hard taco kid's meal with a diet Pepsi. See... this is what I had...

My fast food splurge was a whole 480 calories, which put me at 1,005 calories thus far for the day. That is still substantially lower than what I had planned on eating, so I need to fix me up some yummies for this evening.
Here is my supper! I have two eggs on light bread, a bowl of my oatmeal and a yogurt cup. It's a little late for it, but I know that I won't be going to bed any time soon. My husband has company in the garage, and the guys are all working on the project car. I might as well read for a while, until he gets tired of getting dirty. Here is my summary for the day. I'm coming in at 1,468 calories for the day.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Waking Up, Getting Down

I didn't do a great job with getting my pictures taken yesterday, but I had a busy evening. Here is my end-of-day summary. If you click on the picture, you can read it better. Anyway, my pie chart looks like poo, but I was so preoccupied trying to help someone that I didn't have time to round out my diet. By the time that I was able to get to bed at 12:30 a.m. , I didn't think that it would be all that helpful to eat right before sleeping.

Today is a new day though, and I am glad for it. The sun is shining a little bit and I think that we all need to get outside and enjoy it while it's here. We've got thunderstorms coming this afternoon. Ick.

I was thinking yesterday that it is silly for me to buy packets of instant oatmeal. My own oatmeal is so much better. I've got the dry oats, almonds, raisins, and Almond Breeze. That makes a much better bowl of oatmeal than the pre-packaged stuff that I keep trying to talk myself into liking. I still buy the "strawberries & cream" oatmeal, since I like their little bits of dehydrated strawberry stuff. I'm having my own oatmeal this morning though. I make small bowls of oatmeal, since I don't generally like to eat much at one time. Each bowl is 156 calories.

The scale was down again this morning, and I'm happy with what it said. I'm coming in at 191.5 again, which is where I was before I had my lapse of good judgement. I think that on some weird level, I've been dragging my feet about breaking into the 80's, because that is as far down as I've managed to get during my adult years. I'm not exactly sure why I have such anxiety about it, but I think that maybe I just feel like I can't do better than that. There's also that little thought in the back of my mind that I don't know what to do if I don't have another goal to attain. Before I get reach 160 lbs. , I think that I need to find some kind of physical goal to train for. I've never been good at "treading water".

Anyway, I need to finish breakfast and clean the kitchen. I'll be back for lunch...

Ok, I'm back from a jog around the neighborhood. I plugged all of my numbers in, and I realized that I jog in a rather pathetic fashion. *laughs* Most people walk as fast as I jog. Then again, I did slow down a couple times to a walk, because I'm just not used to running outside. It was raining, and I put my jacket on to keep from getting cold out there. By the time that I got home, it felt like it weighed 5 lbs., though I had only been out for 34 minutes. I jogged for 2.8 miles, which put me at a 4.9 mph pace. See? I'm a slow-poke. I always have been. I enjoy jogging, but it isn't a natural function for my body. Heehee...

CPH says that my little foray around the neighborhood burned 390 calories. I don't know exactly how accurate their calculations are, but I'm gonna run with it. *wink* My sore foot is still a little sore. It hurt the most at the beginning of the jog, but it felt fine after the first mile. I'm going to ice it now, and hopefully that will be plenty enough to keep me walking alright.

Now that I'm back, I grabbed some refreshment. I put down 16 oz. of water, and drank just a wee bit of diet Cream Soda that had been leftover from yesterday. I'll have another 16 oz. with lunch, and the soda is gonna last that long too. I just sip on it a little bit at a time, just to have the flavor in my mouth.

For lunch, I am having 1 c. of bean soup, the last of the pot that I cooked the other day. I also have half a turkey breast sandwich, on light bread with lettuce and mustard.

For a snack, I am grabbing a banana this afternoon. For some reason, running seems to have disrupted my system a little bit! My guts are in a bit of a twist, for some reason or another. Bananas are yummy and feels soothing. Now I am off to read a bit of my book for a while. I love reading, and it always helps to have a good, substantial book of 500 pages or so. *grins*

I still have no idea what I am having for dinner. I need to dig around in the freezer and see what I have.

For dinner, I baked some chicken legs, but I didn't think that there was going to be enough for everyone. So, I had 2 oz. of leftover ham instead. Combine the ham with some green beans and a big biscuit, and that was dinner. I know that those biscuits are a real caloric hit, but I really wanted one. I'm all about having what I want (within reason), so long as I have the room in my caloric budget. So, that is what I did. After dinner, that still only puts me at 826 calories for the day.

I had wanted to cut my watermelon today, but I think that I might just wait until the morning. I have a bit of cantaloupe to finish first. I guess I can have some more of that for a snack this evening.

For my "supper", I enjoyed a nice meal of my oatmeal and 8 oz. of cantaloupe. I also ended up drinking 4 cups of water. Yum.
To round things out and finish me off for the night, I measured out a serving of ranch Wheat Thins.
Here is my summary for the day.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Marathon, anyone?

Ok folks, after watching Ron limp his way for 26.2 miles- who wants to walk/run a marathon? We have a 2 mile walking/running track at my local park, and I'm going to do it. I know that I can't run a marathon, but that's no excuse for not doing it. Come rain or shine, I'm going down to the park on May 20th to log my 26.2 miles on my "Fit-iversary". If anyone wants to join in, for part of the walk/jog, or the whole thing, you are more than welcome to huff and puff along with me. If you're going to be in the S.E. Michigan area, feel free to shoot me an email for the details. :o )