I got myself in a spot of trouble yesterday with chocolate & peanut butter frozen yogurt. D'oh. I threw half of it away, but still- it put me in a bad frame of mind. Even though I threw that half away, I came home and had ice cream after dinner. I tell ya, it's enough to make me want to start banging my head on a wall, hoping to knock some sense into me.
All in all, it's not like I took some kind of hit on the scale, but it's still rather stupid. I know what I should be eating, and I even brought a snack with me when we went to walk around at the street fair. Pumpkin was panting and griping about the heat a bit, and then she just lit up when she saw the ice cream shoppe. So, my little bag of pretzels was abandoned to my purse, and we ate ice cream (frozen yogurt for me) as we walked around and looked at all of the over-priced crafts and art.
My rational mind says that there is no reason why I would want to dip into my husband's carton of chocolate and marshmallow ice cream later on that evening. My addicted self, however, looks at the sugary crap like it's crack. Gotta have it. So what if it's going to slowly click closed the restraints of bondage to garbage, stealing away my freedom of movement, and most likely saddling me with diabetes eventually. It really is a constant battle, whether I'm seeing it in the number on the scale or not. I can either love myself or hate myself, and it always comes down to the moment by moment battle over the person that I want to be.
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The Wolf You Feed
An elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me.. it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."
"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too", he added.
The Grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied... "The one you feed."
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