Current Happenings

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I must be doing something right....

(Left: A picture of my husband and I, taken a few months after our daughter was born. My sister had thought that it was something to brag about, that she put it up on the internet. I took one look at it and wanted to just cry my eyes out. I'm owning it now though. This is where I've been, and where I don't want to go back to. I was miserable, and everyone still thought that I was pregnant. Maybe looking at it will help motivate me to eat those healthy foods in moderation.)

Not only did I wake up hungry this morning, I woke up before my alarm! That felt good to me, because I have been SO sluggish these past couple of weeks. No joke, I struggle every morning to drag myself out of bed sometime before eleven. It makes me very unhappy, particularly when 4:00 p.m. comes around and I'm falling asleep in my chair. See? Awfulness. So, I was very happy to be up much earlier this morning.

I realized this morning that I REALLY need to go grocery shopping, because I was looking at a cup of yogurt in the fridge, wondering just how far past the expiration date I could actually handle. *laughs* If you are curious, the yogurt seems alright. I'm sure that my stomach will let me know if I've been tricked by my mouth and nose.

Anyway, I stepped on the scale this morning, and it was rather nasty. Yuck. It makes me want to hurry to the gym and run like a mad woman. Then, of course, I remember how exhausting it was to just wipe down the chairs at church. *sigh* It is just amazing, how quickly a person gets out of shape. It's hard to face the fact that I won't be running, period. When I can go back to the gym, I'll be stuck at a moderate walking pace for a good month. Then, I will hopefully have given my insides long enough to heal, since I don't do that healing thing all that well. I can walk. I can also lift a wee bit of weight for my arms and shoulders. I'm not allowed to pick up anything greater than 15 pounds though.

I looked at my weight log, and I realize that I haven't lost any weight through the course of a week. That's pretty sad since I was originally looking at a 1.5 lb. loss. Oh yeah, then there was that milkshake and burger, and other such crazy stupid food choices.

I'm at a point where I wonder why I am rebelling so much. I know what I need to do, but a part of me is wailing and fighting like a mad thing. I feel good when I eat well, and an added bonus is losing weight. I don't understand how I could go from doing so well, to struggling so hard. It's just astounding, how quickly the weight comes back on, now that I'm sitting around on my butt and eating bad food. I guess that is the root of the problem though- that the clean eating was never my strong point. I could exercise until I was nothing but a quivering drippy mess, but it is always so hard to say 'no' with an Oreo under my nose. The exercise helped keep me in check, and now I don't know what to do without it. Maybe this is a good lesson for me, but thus far it hasn't been good for the size of my butt.

I shouldn't be so gloomy about things though! (at least not today.) I had a great day yesterday, and today can be another great day. I'm going to take pictures of my food again, for the day. That seems to help me not go completely crazy with the munchies.

Ok, I might otherwise write more... but I need a cup of coffee. *yawns* It's time to do some menu planning and make a grocery shopping list, so I can stop eating questionable yogurt.